kim kardashian vs. the hoover dam

maybe you haven't heard of kim kardashian so here is a photo. she the daughter of oj simpson's murder trial attroney and kris jenner. her step brother is brody jenner, who is a part if the hit MTV reality show "The Hills". her step-father is boring, and was once in the Olympics.

things you probably have heard about her, if you have at all.

1. she stars in a sex tape with Ray-J (aka the sister of the singer Brandy or how some of us remember her fondly, Moesha). he is the little fuckface in the yellow shirt.

2. that she has ass implants

3. that she currently is dating the New Orleans Saints' running back Reggie Bush or as i will call him Adonis. supposedly he is trying to wife her up.

4. that she is hot, because she was the covergirl for Playboy's December issue.

5. she is kinda a skank

things that you probably don't know about her, because you are not obsessed with celebrity.

1. she was once married for 4 years to a man named Damon Thomas. you would think that i was talking about the tall goodlooking one right. nope, he is the short busted dude in the first non-Kim photo. now how in the world did he land kim for any amount of time longer than it takes a male rabbit to orgasm?

2. she has a reality show called "Keeping up with the Kardashians". it is really weird. there is one episode in which her little sisters are playing on a stripper pole in their parents bedroom. SAY WHAT. yeah that's right kim kardashian's parents have a stripper pole in their bedroom. kim bought it for them. so basically, kim kardashian's little sisters were playing on a built in sex toy that she gave to her parents. there is more weirdness if you watch the video but i think it is too weird. what i am writing is true because i am a weirdo. my love of celebrity is like watching trains start for a station and return as crumpled piles of steel and steam. (sorry i got carried away)

3. i dont know if she has ass implants but she has superior assests and chestsets. you get it...you know what i mean...

4. that she is famous for no reason and that she doesnt have a job in any real sense of the word "job"

so where does the hoover dam come into all of this. it's like this: in my head the hoover damn is as cool or slightly cooler than (= or >) all things kim kardashian.

the hoover dam is a top priority on my american vacation list right now. why? because it is MASSIVE. it is so big that it blocks the Colorado River, this is the same river that carved the Grand Canyon (next on american vacation list). the dam was named after Herbert Hoover, the 31st president of Etats Unis (backwards that spells: sin u state. what does that say about the country and about the true feelings of the French). the building style of the dam is called a concrete arch-gravity dam, (i dont even know what that means). i think that being there would be ahmazing. you would be on so much electric power, concrete, and water. so yeah, even though i know more about kim kardashian, i would be starstruck by the hoover dam.

ps. Amy Winehouse's first album "Frank" is the shit

i get it. jeez.

ok ya'lls (i like to write that because it makes me think of britney spears saying it which, for me, is endlessly funny). let me get this straight, if i write in my blog you won't read it until i badger each of you to read it. i haven't written in my blog because i think no one reads it (mostly because ya'lls... hahaha... never leave me comments). now my deary friend mess told me off for not writing in it. so here we go.

i have been very upset recently, but for the most ridiculous reasons. today i was offended by fake tans, the other day it was because of celebrities insuring their bodies, and the other other day it was fake boobs. i am not sure why i am fascinated by these shallow waters. but let me explain my rage. i like celebrity gossip, i have many sites that i check obsessively. one site had the photos of orange-dayglow fake tan paris hilton at her movie premier of "The Hottie and the Nottie", then another site had the photos of Tom Jones (as seen above)

Tom Jones, who also likes sporting a creepy tan, supposedly has insured his beloved, manly (puke in mouth) chest-hair for $7million. yeah, $7million for leathery skin and greying chest-hair. ew. do you think that he dyes his chest-hair to match his carpet? sorry, that is inappropriate. then the Tom Jones thing, lead to other celebrities who have parts of their bodies insured for millions. Heidi Klum's legs are insured for $2.2million. then i wondered if she had her boobs insured because they are pretty famous too. then i thought about, what if she got fake boobs: would that increase or decrease the possible insurance value of her boobs. yeah, whatever. another Heidi in the celebritdom is Heidi Montag who has fake boobs (we know cuz she sold her surgery story to a tabloid magazine). Ms. Montag and her boobs are now singers and have a new music video. on the other hand, Dolly Parton has massive fake boobs and i love her (for seemingly countless reasons). what gives. idk.

welcome to loza-land

Heidi Montag's new video for her single "Higher" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSRigInpvYM
try to listen to the song and its crappiness, but it is so hard to do because of heidi's fake boobs and amazing body.