pedicures are wack

ok friends and whatnots. i have gotten three pedicures in my life and i will never get one again. last month, a friend from out of town came for a visit, lets call her...Jennifer. So Jennifer and I decided to go to a movie after I worked a shift at a cafe. i was gross and sweaty and my feet stank like whoa. i have a weird thing about feet and hygiene. i can't handle it when people touch me with their feet, people generally touching my feet, or looking at gross feet. my friend Mess would torment me by slowly touch her feet against mine when we were chillin' on our beds or on the couch. i used to squeal with displeasure when this would happen. the worst was when i would take naps in her bed (i'm what you call a "bed-whore" meaning i love, love, love sleeping in other peoples beds. it's like getting into that person's brain for me) and as i woke up i realize that i had been snuggling with stray dirty socks that freed themselves from the bonds of Mess' feet. she would just laugh at me and then kick me out of her bed. a similar story but more embarrassing is the one time i was using my friend Lauren's apartment as a crash-pad and i fell asleep in a drunken stupor. only did i realize the next hungover morning that my face and drool was on a pair of Lauren's boyfriend's underwear that she had been wearing to sleep. i know that i deserve all of these things...karma blahblahblah. back to the point, allowing someone i don't know to touch my feet is a bit on the traumatic side for me. so having three pedicures in my 24 yrs on earth is kinda big deal for me. the first two pedicures were amazing. simple, clean, relaxing. but i did have a sense of guilt as i was paying someone else touch my feet. it is not only about the guilt of having someone touching my feet but also the position of subservience i was placing whomever under. frankly, you could not pay me enough to touch a stranger's feet. but in the ithaca mall you can pay stranger $27 for touching your feet when you are unwilling or too lazy to do it yourself. so i go with Jennifer to the nail salon before our afternoon movie, we had 45mins for this shit. the shop is full of moms and daughters, to be honest they were all pretty nightmarish. the moms were so rude to the people who worked there, like their chola eyebrows and their corns were the most important things to hit the Ithaca Mall since Cheez Wiz. one woman in particular was atrocious. the nail tech dude called her two daughters for pedis and the mom mumbled "oh, no room for me huh" like the heffa was competing with her kids. seriously though, chick had the worst over plucked brows and she was clearly feeling the dark brown eye pencil with brown purple lipstick and reddish, curly hair. lady was looking mad pale and sallow, but she thought she had it goin' on. pukeinmymouth. and her feet and all the other feet in the room were pretty hideous. anyways, i was called up and waited in a puffy, massage chair while my feet soaked in a pool of blue "water". the nail tech dude comes over all dickwad/i hate you like, i say hello how are you, he mumbles something and then begins my pedicure. ok, i get it if you hate all the people that come into this shop with nasty feet, nastier attitudes and you have to prostrate yourself and touch their feet. and i came in with nasty feet but no attitude at all, i was friendly. for me this would be the most hellish job ever, so i get it. continuing on with the pedicure... it was ok until he was pumicing my feet and proceeded to scratch up my ankles. i flinched but thought that i was being a baby and i didn't say anything. pedi's done and i am drying my toenails under the lamp. i put lotion on and my ankle burned and the paint job was shit. i started mumbling about the shit quality and the guy hears me and comes up to me being like "pay me now". i pay him and then throw the tip at him. i sit down to wait for Jennifer to be finished with her nails and this same asshole says to me "Leave, why are you still here". this is when i flipped my shit. i turn to him, tell him "i am waiting for a friend" and then walk out after telling another nail tech lady that i had just paid $31 to have the skin of my ankles removed and that they can fuck themselves. ok mr. angry man, i hate you too. go fuck yourself and run into a wall please. i knew that pedicures made me uncomfortable for many reasons and this experience just validated all of my pedicure phobias. i am not saying that pedicures can't be nice and relaxing or that everyone shouldn't get them because the people giving them hate their lives. all i am saying is that i am skeptical and a little venomous toward this one dude. fuck you nail tech asshole, i am glad that i threw that money at you cuz you are a bitch if i have ever seen one.